CRIB CRITICGet roasted

AI room roasts. Real fixes.

YOUR ROOM.NO MERCY.

Upload a room photo for a free, spicy-but-safe roast and three practical budget fixes. Get the laughs, then get your place together.

Upload your roomSee the flow

Free roast card + fixes. The full redesign is an optional $9 upgrade.

Roast
Live roastFree preview
Could be worse
THE BEFORE

Official verdict

"THIS LAMP HAS MORE CONFIDENCE THAN THE WHOLE ROOM."

3 fixes, no fluff:

Pull the sofa off the wall.

Trade three tiny lamps for one anchor light.

Give the rug a job bigger than existing.

Roast. Fix. Flex. Shareable card
FIX

Ruthless about the room. Respectful about you.

Your roast arrives ready to screenshot and send.

Every joke comes with a move you can make.

The roast process

UPLOAD. ROAST. FLEX.

No mood board degree required. Bring the room exactly as it is; leave with a better idea of what to keep, move, swap, or finally retire.

  1. 01

    Show us the scene

    Upload one clear photo of your room. We are here for the floor piles, too.

  2. 02

    Get roasted responsibly

    Receive a sharp, playful verdict that stays focused on the room — never you.

  3. 03

    Make it better

    Take three practical, budget-minded fixes, then share the card if you can handle it.

When you want the glow-up

THE JOKE ENDS. THE REDESIGN STARTS.

Love the diagnosis but need a real direction? The $9 upgrade turns the roast into a more complete room plan, so you know what to do next.

Full redesign

Turn the roast into a room plan.

$9

  • A complete redesign direction for your room
  • A visual mockup to make the idea feel real
  • A shoppable furniture list built around the plan
See the $9 game plan

The roast stays free. Upgrade only when you want the full design direction.

Upcoming participation feature

WORST ROOM IN AMERICA.

The weekly leaderboard is on its way. When it launches, brave room owners can put their roast cards in the running for a little infamy and a lot of interior-design redemption.

No fake rankings. No made-up winners. Just an upcoming excuse to submit the chaos.

COMING
SOON

The only leaderboard where poor lighting and a chair-shaped laundry pile can become a legacy.

Week one: pending

Future category

MOST CONFIDENTLY CONFUSING

Your room could win. Eventually.

Ready when your room is

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'RE WORKING WITH.

Bring the bad angles, the big dreams, and the mystery furniture. We'll bring a roast you can laugh at — plus useful ways to make it better.

Start your free roast